Holiday Gift Giving

It’s that time of year again

Leatherati
Leatherati Online

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We prefer to save our holiday cash for something extravagant for ourselves (bondage furniture — new Wescos) but if you must share the cheer or bribe the hubby, here are some of our faves:

Pirate_shirt_ac38

Nothing says “aaaaarrrrrr” to your favorite mate than a good pirate shirt!

It’s got plenty of room to move in, or hide a big potluck dinner. It’s white so the dungeon monitor can always find your pervy pirate in order to point out his impeccable flogging technique to the admiring newbies. And best of all he can wear it to the Renaissance Faire so it gets double duty.

Recommended only for those comfortable with “advanced lifestyle” choices.

Our new all-time favorite t-shirt

Sometimes your expression of disgust and incredulity just aches to be taken to new depths. The “I cleaned out my ass for this?” t-shirt really flushes out any lingering chunks of doubt that you’re just not that in to it — whatever “it” happens to be.

Perfect for the mind-blowingly boring office holiday party (make sure you’re right up front for the photo op) or meeting the new in-laws-to-be.

Yes, we cravenly made the image SFW. Get the real thing from The Bearded Guy.

Cheap and DIY

We’re pretty sure this one never made it to the DIY Network. But if you’re cheap at heart and have nimble monkey fingers this might just be right up your alley, so to speak.

The Digital Rectal Exam

A prostate self exam is performed by inserting your well lubricated finger into your anus and feeling your prostate gland.

But, is this self exam effective? No, not really. There are certain things we just can’t do well by ourselves. This is one of them.

Does make for an interesting date night though…with yourself. But you’re on your own if you get caught whispering “Is it in yet”…to yourself.

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